I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
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i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
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I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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