So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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