Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
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walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
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She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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