I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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