I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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