I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
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The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
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I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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