so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I will die if light touches me.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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