you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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