Sry I called you an 8
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
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Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
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We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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