i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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