Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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