He had one of those small greek statue penises
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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