i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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