Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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