Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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