i jhust puked up my retainher.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
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You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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