hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize