Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize