i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
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She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
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I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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