You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
COCAINE IS GR8
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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