my soul wont recognize me after tonight
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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