Everything about him screamed your future.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
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Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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