Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just cut my nipple shaving
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize