i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked him into tasing himself.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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