You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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