I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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