im gay
i know
yea but for you.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize