I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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