I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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