1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize