Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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