Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize