whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize