i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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