No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize