bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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