Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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