Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
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We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
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if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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