I only kidnapped one of them. chill
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
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woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
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I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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