i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
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weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
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Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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