I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
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