My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize