I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize