he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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