when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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