listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize