You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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