i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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