It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
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He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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