my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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